Monday, August 1, 2016

The Queen

To me feeling depressed and depression are two different states of mind.

 If I was feeling depressed I wanted to spend time with my wife, or my kids, or other people that could distract me from sadness.

 In my head and my body depression feel like a total lack of any emotion. It is not sadness. It is not doom and gloom. Depression is a feeling of nothingness, a black hole with a gravitational pull that sucks away all emotions. I would take sadness any day over the void.

It is during depression I want the Queen.

The Queen knows me. She knows all my weak spots. She knows all my strong points. She is who I want when the depression hits.

She blankets me with protection from the outside world. She uses her coils to offer me support where I need it most. Her hand has one of the greatest touches.

When Depression strikes I spend a lot of time with the Queen. Sometimes a few hours, sometimes a few days.

I have spent way too much time with the Queen. I know all her sounds, all her flaws, all her quirks that make her a perfect fit for me. Because when you do not feel anything the only thing you can do is try to feel something.

I can feel the pills on the Queens corners just to try to feel something.

I listen intently to see if I can decipher the meaning of the slight little squeaks the Queen makes as I move.

The Queen's 300 thread count spread usually gets soaked with sweat as I try to just feel something.

1 comment:

  1. Literary critique: I like the device, but it was a bit forced and choppy. Personal reaction: Dude, you're breaking my heart.